'The Worm'

[Nigel Babb]

Follow the on-line antics and thoughts of our resident Black Country Worm here.........

[valfirst]

The Wriggly Worm Surfaces
What do worms do? They aerate the soil and act as gardeners’ friends. I live underground and have been known to do surreptitious things on the Internet. I am a worm. Judge for yourself whether I’m a nice or a nasty one. My blog is buried on UKITA’s online forum, that excellent vehicle, allegedly in the Black Country branch, so I can receive your worthy comments there.

Like you, I have off days and on days. Sometimes I am happy laying eggs and sometimes I suffer a fork through my body. Therefore some days I moan and some days I feel joyous. Just like a WMITA member. I do not represent the views of WMITA, any more than my deadly enemy, the mole does.

The £1000 Website
Recently I have been sympathising with the 1K website. This poor creature has had a real battering from the members of WMITA lately. I hear what they say. That 1K is a time-consuming unprofitable project that will not get their creators into the FTSE 100 anytime soon is pretty obvious. Often the 1K brings with it the timewaster, who wants a three page quote, spends hours on the phone and then gets his nephew to do it after all.

However, there are small organisations out there, often in the not for profit sector, amongst whom no one has the skills, knowledge or time to do it themselves. They actually have about 1K and need to purchase something of a reasonable professional standard combined with meeting legal and accessibility expectations.

Do they deserve to be ripped off by amateurs? Also to be honest, when you left Uni with no web projects under your belt, didn’t the 1K have its uses to build up your portfolio? Does it deserve to become extinct? Remember the 1K customer can suddenly access humongous funds for some other online project, and who would they turn to?

The Worm
 
August 2007

[Nigel Babb]

September's Worm

Posted on behalf of the Worm (as he/she has no fingers to type with!)

Hot Tips for Marketing.

By reading this blog I can guarantee you this: -
•   You will learn nothing new or otherwise improve yourself
•   You will not increase your customer base
•   You will not drive customers by the teeming hordes to your website
•   You will not double your turnover in three weeks

You have all heard the outrageous claims. They are about as convincing as “Learn to play the piano in 24 hours” or “Learn fluent Mandarin while you sleep”.

One guru who has an enormous email marketing operation is Chris Cardelle. It costs him nothing to run once he’s bought his contact lists. He apparently gives away free marketing advice including his telephone seminars. Don't waste time on it. It will tell you nothing new and certainly don't give him a monthly fee.  One thing you can be sure of. If you succeed in raising your profile effectively you will be plagued by others trying to market services to you. I am working on worm's theorem: “The number of new customers is inversely proportional to the time and money spent on directories, advertising and meetings”. If you can improve on this post it on the Forum.

Perhaps we have become suspicious of scams. However, marketing a SME is an art form that we can't ignore especially back here at the wormery where we compete with all kinds of creepy crawlies. This particular worm benefited enormously by attending the two linked workshops put on by John Beeston (of www.themarketingworkspace.co.uk ), Leigh Hunt of Warwickshire Council and Bill Taylor of the University of Warwickshire Science Park. Of particular note was the on-line support of John Beeston’s brilliantly constructed website. SMEs of various shapes and sizes gave it the thumbs up and I will be definitely expanding the operation of the wormery as a result – mud permitting

The Worm
 
September 2007

[Sooty (Andy Corbett)]

You Worm!

The trick with the thousand pound website is as follows:

Tell the client that they must provide you with all of the text and pictures for the site AND all of the cash at the start of the job and then you will tell THEM when it is finished.

This will release you from the never-ending tweaks and also the phenomenon where the client realises they havent actually got the cash flow right now and will find endless reasons why the job is not QUITE finished. To save having to settle up for it.


If they won't accept these terms, simply chuckle happily and show them the Yellow Pages.

Andy
 

[Nigel Babb]

OCTOBER'S WORM

Posted on behalf of the 'Wriggly one'
You can imagine that an underground operation like my own is very dependant upon forging relationships with others in the slithering business. I have therefore been a member of various membership organizations for creepy crawlies for many years now and feel I have developed a certain expertise in networking.

This is a subject I know you all feel strongly about and so today I will spread some slime about The Breakfast Meeting. Yes I'm sure you have been there plenty of times as well. UKITA members know all about it:

Get up shockingly early. Arrive at seedy hotel with odd socks on and toothpaste on tie to be greeted by a sea of grey beards, grey suits and grey faces. Listen to someone droning on about a totally baffling subject or something you've heard about 20 times before. Exchange tomato sauce embellished cards over a cholesterol rich breakfast. Three days later receive an aggressive “networking” call from a youthful web designer who is telling you your site is rubbish and illegal and he can do an assessment of it for only £10,000 (ex VAT) as he obtained a huge grant from a public body needing to massage its employment figures.

Well if that’s all its about, then its the fault of worms and fellow legless creatures like myself. The point of the Breakfast Meeting is not to increase the income of wealthy hotel chains or to increase marketing pests, but to help UKITA members to forge partnerships and to do business. In the Black Country we have moved to social networking meetings alternating with information sessions. Many of us have built excellent working relationships with fellow members. When the time arrives, and I need a company to connect up all the tunnels in my wormery and improve my internal communications I shall know who to go to. That is genuine partnership. And if they ring me with a nice little contract to improve access for the legless so much the better.

The Worm
October 2007

[Nigel Babb]

NOVEMBER'S WORM

Posted on behalf of the 'Wriggler' 

When I have finished my casts for the day and settled into my earthy retreat I do occasionally catch Matt Allwright and his Rogue Traders’ farrago. A mix between reality TV and consumer programme he adopts a stereotypical disguise such as a Polish workman and doorsteps dodgy workmen. These so called traders are often people like roofers who rip off elderly residents.

Somewhat smugly I thought that this type of con didn’t apply to the computer installation and IT business. That was before I was called upon to go and slither about in a management capacity in a small organisation that was moving premises. An IT firm had already been contracted to reinstall the system. On the day of the move he turned up a day late at four o'clock and complained that the cabling would cost more than his quote. This WormITA challenged him about the necessity for cabling at all and was given a mouthful of technobabble. Another no show. Finally locating him on his mobile he promised to come the following day but instead rang to say that a relative was critically ill. A few minutes later someone from his office rang to say that he was stuck in traffic. You've guessed it. The hapless relative died and needed a funeral by the Friday. The cowboy finally turned up, messed about with a lot of wires and left. Next he rang to say that he was very tired from a boozy weekend. Altogether three weeks would have passed without broadband or functional workstations had not the worm made other arrangements. Matt Allwright would have relished it.

All this made me contemplate the virtues of WMITA membership and accreditation. Supposing that organisation had gone to the Yellow Pages and seen a featured entry with all the accredited IT installers listed in the area, would the same thing have happened? Supposing that the organisation had accessed the WMITA member directory? I wonder if WMITA   has done enough to make consumers aware of WMITA   and the accreditation. Surely as a consequence more and more worms would want to wriggle with us and reap the benefits of increased trade. I feel a radio jingle coming on – the cheesy script is forming in my head and tail as I speak.

The Worm 

[Sooty (Andy Corbett)]

Dear Wriggler,

I think you are very good - and we should have more of you.

Actually - I think there's a way forward - If I take my trusty garden e-Spade and cut you in half - you will grow into TWO Worms.    Result!

Andy

[Sharon Talbot]

Dear 'Wormee'

Like many other companies offering website developments, I too suffer from the £1k (or in fact less) website request.

Last week I met a nice young chap who's setting up a new business. He even has some funding to help him get going. Great, I thought. This won't be like all the other funding jobs I've had where they want a logo, stationery, leaflet/brochure and a website all for £1K and inclusive of VAT.

However, the conversation starts to go downhill when he tells me the funding body will only go for the cheapest quote. Huge sigh from me as I sip my hot chocolate. I'm not sure I believe this as it would be very shortsighted of them if they took this view. But hey, we know what these funding bodies can be like don't we? And he says its match funding so he's obviously thinking he'll get a low quote and therefore only have to pay a little to match it.

We then talk about what he wants and why he wants it. And in fact at this stage all he really needs is a web presence (brochure on line) consisting of a few pages and he doesn't think he'll update it frequently as most of his marketing will be directed offline. Phase 2 may consist of online ordering and I give him a ball park figure for this. We do have an interesting conversation about what the website could contain that might make people come back to his website and start talking about it (a hobbyhorse of mine). Ideas flow. (BTW, how do people copyright these ideas?)

We then talk about designs. I like the sort of look and feel he's aiming for and my creative blood starts to bubble. I show him some examples of websites we've designed. He wants to see an example of one we've done that matches what he's looking for exactly. I explain that these are examples so he can see the quality of design and levels of functionality we can buid. He then shows me a website his 'mate' has done. He really likes it. Hmmm...I start to get that sinking feeling again. The design is ok but not 'wow'. I wonder if I'm being stitched up to make up the quote numbers and he's going to get his mate to do it?

So I've emailed him my quote. He needs to get a couple more to satisfy the funders. When I follow it up, he asks if the costs are negotiable. 'NO!', I politely state. 'They're not.' I've given him a good price that reflects what he needs.

Maybe I should take Andy's advice....?

[Nigel Babb]

DECEMBER'S WORM

Festive wriggles from the Wriggly one.

WMITA worms are of course into all things innovative. However Web 2.00 seems to have been captured by the young. They are in the frontline of a charge into virtual worlds based on their confidence gained during hungry uptake of gaming, which we older creatures have carelessly ignored.

Those of us who have been longstanding users of Worms Reunited have realised for some time now that it is old hat. No new worms have come along and social networking sites like Bebo and Facebook have upstaged it. When ITV took it over to get a foothold in the web it sounded its death knell, or at least relegated it to a site for old fogies poring over family trees. Well what did it all mean? What did we get out of Worms Reunited? A person, who apparently attended the Academy for Invertebrates at the same time as myself, got in touch with me. I could not remember her even though she sent me a class photograph. To be honest I never really got on with slugs. Also an ex-pupil of mine from teaching days said some nice things about me and I had a courteous email exchange with someone who this time could not remember me. No wonder we have moved on.

So what is different about Web 2.00? If Facebook is a good example then it’s the obvious interactivity. Worms Reunited was backward-looking and dealt with the past - often people did not bother with their photos or even to update their profiles. Facebook is very much in the present. Despite emanating from the US College circuit it is grounded in locality – ‘Wolverhampton Ring Road Tramp’ achieved national coverage when ‘Fred’ died unaware even of his Facebook presence.  Poking one another and strangers asking to be your friend is all grist to the mill, positive or negative, just like the real world.

In an overpopulated shrinking world increased mobility has had consequences for social relationships and so it is not surprising that an opportunity to maintain connectedness has become so successful. But of course Web 2.00 has many other uses – Flickr for photo sharing and the plethora of music sites come to mind. And if I can survive the hazards of those who would chop me in half we will  muse further upon Web 3 and virtual worlds some time in 2008; meanwhile seasonal greetings to you all.

[Nigel Babb]

JANUARY'S WORM

HAPPY NEW YEAR from the Wriggler.

posted on behalf of the Wriggley One

ITS ALL IN THE GAME

When I have finally logged off for the weekend I like nothing better than enjoying the privilege of a worm’s eye view of my favourite sports. I am proud to have come close to being trampled on by the likes of Steve Waugh, Jonny Wilkinson and that perpendicular worm, Peter Crouch. Being a Wormita member I am particularly fascinated by the adoption of technology in the four big sports, cricket, rugby union, football and tennis. Perhaps I should say the failure to adopt the assistance technology offers in some instances.

Tennis and cricket have moved with the times by adopting the Hawkeye video system as an officiating tool. Whilst no system can be perfect tennis has ironed out the outrageous decisions that created the “You can not be serious” dramas. The player can make up to two incorrect challenges of a line decision in a set, a rule that seems to work well.

In cricket the use of Hawkeye has been invaluable in clarifying run outs – you know the scenario – was the bat over the line before or after the keeper stumps the batsman? Here the screens give the same shots to the spectators as the referee can see, and also the decision in large letters. Of course human judgment is not always eliminated because certainty can never be guaranteed. Motorcycle speedway often does not have any technology available at all. The occasional referee uses the sporadic availability of Sky TV to see who should be eliminated after a collision, but there is generally nothing to assist with some of the controversial starting decisions and the videographers can often replay and see more than the referee.

Perhaps it is the biggest and wealthiest sport where technology has not found its place. Too many times in professional football the ball is seen to cross the line and a goal is not given, or a player is blatantly offside – blatantly to all but the referee (or his assistant) who was looking the other way at the time but evidence is not called for. But of course there would not be so much for the pundits to talk about in their so-called analysis sessions – on TV or down at the pub.

From a worm’s eye view it seems to me that that the referees have it all sorted in rugby. Any uncertainty over decisions and the TMO is called upon to assist by studying the replay. Of course rugby is a no messing sport; it has to be when 30 hunks weighing 18 stone or more start charging at each other. The game has little comparison with football. The referee can be seen to actually manage the game uttering such things as “Calm down lads” as they go into the scrum (I can hear what goes on from where I am) and woe betide a player who does not get 10 yards back – he or she will be penalised. In football I often see players tackling off the ball, tugging shirts or penalties not given; the list goes on. This is my New Year message to the governors of English football. Clean up your game guys, and have some top class officiating assisted by the latest technology. Perhaps I would not get squidged quite so often.

The Worm

[Nigel Babb]

FEBRUARY's WORM

The Wriggly one has surfaced a bit prematurely this month, probably due to the heavy rainfall, anyway on their behalf I post this months ranting - feel free to respond and air your thoughts - the Wriggler would love to hear your views (he/she doesn't get to see many 'views' from ground level :-))

CONSUMER POWER STRIKES A NEW NOTE

I am a free spirit in the worm world but being sited underground can be an isolated experience if it were not for the various vibrations humans send me. The WWW (Worm Wide Web of course) opens up avenues of communication and entertainment of which sound and music play a big part for me. Years ago music was raw, live and expensive to record and perform. I know various nerds who say they love the analogue sound of those days. Although I have some sympathy with their views, making and recording music using electronic means is now cheaper and better for a restricted creature like myself. Nothing can replace musicianship, but how music is written, performed, recorded and made widely available has been revolutionized.

This has of course turned the market upside down. In the early eighties my company ran an eight-track studio that cost about £20,000 to set up and customers would pay £10.00 - £15.00 per hour to record their tracks. Now the same music can be produced in a small room with sophisticated music software, a keyboard and quality mikes – and of course bags of talent. Creativity can be realized at low cost.

Electronic distribution means that I am no longer at the beck and call of a spotty 21-year-old ‘A & R man’. Looking at the bigger picture, a whole industry is struggling to find alternative incomes. EMI is in meltdown as the big acts desert the company but from artists’ point of view, the unrecoverable huge advances are a thing of the past. And who also benefits from this as well as the ‘indies’? Well it is the consumer who is king, of course.

Sales of CDs and DVDs have nosedived, affecting not only the retail end, but also the manufacturing and production houses that have also been hard hit. DVD and CD manufacturing held its own in 2003 – 2005 but in the last recorded year had fallen again. In 1984 I recall being filmed by the BBC delivering a consignment of my company’s latest vinyl single to a choir my company had recorded, such was the novelty of the event. Strangely, when digital recording technology evolved, companies opted to produce it on disc, and maintained this technology profitably for 20 years. Now the bubble has burst and those of us in music and film must adapt or go under.

This is generally good news for the artist, because for a reasonable outlay music can be made available to the consumer via on-line distributors; royalties and sales are now reliably recorded and collected and airplay is monitored by means of electronic registration and bar-coding, and both sound recordings and video can be chart eligible for minimal outlay. No more “chart ” record shops open to corruption! The spectre at the feast is of course file sharing but the instant worldwide markets compensate for this. The chart, by the way, is now officially a combination of physical and downloaded releases such is the sea change that has occurred. Well I could go on. All I know is that the latest productions of your wriggly friend will be hitting the web well…about now in fact. I must tunnel away to work on my new track, if the floods don’t get to me first.

[Nigel Babb]

MARCH'S WORM

Once again the Wriggler has burrowed deep underground and slithered across the keyboard to provide this month's words of wisdom. He/She has informed me that they are surprised that intellectual people from the ICT profession agree 100% with the ramblings...this must be the case as in nearly 800 viewings no one has contradicted the Worm Go on let the Worm know your thoughts on the subject, be they in agreement or disagreement, at the end of the day they're only a worm, it's not like they're the Godfather

So, posted on behalf of the Worm:

What a jolly little fellow am I, travelling back and forth along my clandestine tunnels. I have a privileged view of small business from below and I sometimes wonder really how it is all expected to work. Most of us started out with an exciting idea, an original product, or a clever little service, oozing with creativity.  Being in business however turns out not to be quite what it seems for the new entrepreneur. The scales seem to be stacked against us, with bureaucracy at every turn.So after a year, given that the creative entrepreneur has taken on board much of what has been instilled as good business practice, what does a typical week look like?

MONDAY
Clear in-box of unsolicited matter
Send graphics and instructions to printer for new letterhead
Search for competitive insurance renewals.
Start on-line tender for local authority contract
Attend Chamber networking lunch (2 hours)
Ring three referees for tender. Two are out. Scan two insurance documents
Interrupted by cold callers 3 times
Ring govt agency about training – answering machine

TUESDAY
Attend marketing seminar other side of WM
Clear in-box
Receive email with negative result for a “Three quotes” proposal
Trade survey incoming call
Chase some overdue invoices for the second time. Reissue one - lost
Sack first debt collection agency and search for second on an ageing debt.
Speak to Govt agency about training. Person knows nothing about letter she sent. Promised someone will call back in the morning.

WEDNESDAY
Pay in cheques at bank
Interview prospective student for work experience
Peruse insurance quotes
Fume at insults levied by a cold caller
Kept on hold by franking machine firm.
Send out two invoices
Complete tender as references return calls.
Attend evening meeting for professional organisation

THURSDAY
Attend Breakfast Club
Spend hour on phone with customer who wants final version changed.
Telephone hosting company, as Outlook won’t function
Phone Govt agency again. Promise someone will ring me.
Receive another brief for “Three quotes” business opportunity.
Visit accountant about tax return

FRIDAY
Visit solicitor about possible unforeseen IP problem
Return laser printer to supplier
Complete VAT return despite mysterious lost invoice
Fend off seven cold callers and one anonymous “Ball park figure” caller
Renew on-line directory entry
Customer rings questioning delay on his project
Enrol on time management course.
         *         *         *
Surely this is a parody of business life isn’t it? Of course we are all very efficient well-staffed little businesses in this nation of small shopkeepers aren’t we? Or does this ring any bells with you?

I hope someone responds or I might be found all dried up on Nigel’s doorstep

The Worm
March 2008