'The Worm'

[Nigel Babb]

Follow the on-line antics and thoughts of our resident Black Country Worm here.........

[valfirst]

The Wriggly Worm Surfaces
What do worms do? They aerate the soil and act as gardeners’ friends. I live underground and have been known to do surreptitious things on the Internet. I am a worm. Judge for yourself whether I’m a nice or a nasty one. My blog is buried on UKITA’s online forum, that excellent vehicle, allegedly in the Black Country branch, so I can receive your worthy comments there.

Like you, I have off days and on days. Sometimes I am happy laying eggs and sometimes I suffer a fork through my body. Therefore some days I moan and some days I feel joyous. Just like a WMITA member. I do not represent the views of WMITA, any more than my deadly enemy, the mole does.

The £1000 Website
Recently I have been sympathising with the 1K website. This poor creature has had a real battering from the members of WMITA lately. I hear what they say. That 1K is a time-consuming unprofitable project that will not get their creators into the FTSE 100 anytime soon is pretty obvious. Often the 1K brings with it the timewaster, who wants a three page quote, spends hours on the phone and then gets his nephew to do it after all.

However, there are small organisations out there, often in the not for profit sector, amongst whom no one has the skills, knowledge or time to do it themselves. They actually have about 1K and need to purchase something of a reasonable professional standard combined with meeting legal and accessibility expectations.

Do they deserve to be ripped off by amateurs? Also to be honest, when you left Uni with no web projects under your belt, didn’t the 1K have its uses to build up your portfolio? Does it deserve to become extinct? Remember the 1K customer can suddenly access humongous funds for some other online project, and who would they turn to?

The Worm
 
August 2007

[Nigel Babb]

September's Worm

Posted on behalf of the Worm (as he/she has no fingers to type with!)

Hot Tips for Marketing.

By reading this blog I can guarantee you this: -
•   You will learn nothing new or otherwise improve yourself
•   You will not increase your customer base
•   You will not drive customers by the teeming hordes to your website
•   You will not double your turnover in three weeks

You have all heard the outrageous claims. They are about as convincing as “Learn to play the piano in 24 hours” or “Learn fluent Mandarin while you sleep”.

One guru who has an enormous email marketing operation is Chris Cardelle. It costs him nothing to run once he’s bought his contact lists. He apparently gives away free marketing advice including his telephone seminars. Don't waste time on it. It will tell you nothing new and certainly don't give him a monthly fee.  One thing you can be sure of. If you succeed in raising your profile effectively you will be plagued by others trying to market services to you. I am working on worm's theorem: “The number of new customers is inversely proportional to the time and money spent on directories, advertising and meetings”. If you can improve on this post it on the Forum.

Perhaps we have become suspicious of scams. However, marketing a SME is an art form that we can't ignore especially back here at the wormery where we compete with all kinds of creepy crawlies. This particular worm benefited enormously by attending the two linked workshops put on by John Beeston (of www.themarketingworkspace.co.uk ), Leigh Hunt of Warwickshire Council and Bill Taylor of the University of Warwickshire Science Park. Of particular note was the on-line support of John Beeston’s brilliantly constructed website. SMEs of various shapes and sizes gave it the thumbs up and I will be definitely expanding the operation of the wormery as a result – mud permitting

The Worm
 
September 2007

[Sooty (Andy Corbett)]

You Worm!

The trick with the thousand pound website is as follows:

Tell the client that they must provide you with all of the text and pictures for the site AND all of the cash at the start of the job and then you will tell THEM when it is finished.

This will release you from the never-ending tweaks and also the phenomenon where the client realises they havent actually got the cash flow right now and will find endless reasons why the job is not QUITE finished. To save having to settle up for it.


If they won't accept these terms, simply chuckle happily and show them the Yellow Pages.

Andy
 

[Nigel Babb]

OCTOBER'S WORM

Posted on behalf of the 'Wriggly one'
You can imagine that an underground operation like my own is very dependant upon forging relationships with others in the slithering business. I have therefore been a member of various membership organizations for creepy crawlies for many years now and feel I have developed a certain expertise in networking.

This is a subject I know you all feel strongly about and so today I will spread some slime about The Breakfast Meeting. Yes I'm sure you have been there plenty of times as well. UKITA members know all about it:

Get up shockingly early. Arrive at seedy hotel with odd socks on and toothpaste on tie to be greeted by a sea of grey beards, grey suits and grey faces. Listen to someone droning on about a totally baffling subject or something you've heard about 20 times before. Exchange tomato sauce embellished cards over a cholesterol rich breakfast. Three days later receive an aggressive “networking” call from a youthful web designer who is telling you your site is rubbish and illegal and he can do an assessment of it for only £10,000 (ex VAT) as he obtained a huge grant from a public body needing to massage its employment figures.

Well if that’s all its about, then its the fault of worms and fellow legless creatures like myself. The point of the Breakfast Meeting is not to increase the income of wealthy hotel chains or to increase marketing pests, but to help UKITA members to forge partnerships and to do business. In the Black Country we have moved to social networking meetings alternating with information sessions. Many of us have built excellent working relationships with fellow members. When the time arrives, and I need a company to connect up all the tunnels in my wormery and improve my internal communications I shall know who to go to. That is genuine partnership. And if they ring me with a nice little contract to improve access for the legless so much the better.

The Worm
October 2007

[Nigel Babb]

NOVEMBER'S WORM

Posted on behalf of the 'Wriggler' 

When I have finished my casts for the day and settled into my earthy retreat I do occasionally catch Matt Allwright and his Rogue Traders’ farrago. A mix between reality TV and consumer programme he adopts a stereotypical disguise such as a Polish workman and doorsteps dodgy workmen. These so called traders are often people like roofers who rip off elderly residents.

Somewhat smugly I thought that this type of con didn’t apply to the computer installation and IT business. That was before I was called upon to go and slither about in a management capacity in a small organisation that was moving premises. An IT firm had already been contracted to reinstall the system. On the day of the move he turned up a day late at four o'clock and complained that the cabling would cost more than his quote. This WormITA challenged him about the necessity for cabling at all and was given a mouthful of technobabble. Another no show. Finally locating him on his mobile he promised to come the following day but instead rang to say that a relative was critically ill. A few minutes later someone from his office rang to say that he was stuck in traffic. You've guessed it. The hapless relative died and needed a funeral by the Friday. The cowboy finally turned up, messed about with a lot of wires and left. Next he rang to say that he was very tired from a boozy weekend. Altogether three weeks would have passed without broadband or functional workstations had not the worm made other arrangements. Matt Allwright would have relished it.

All this made me contemplate the virtues of WMITA membership and accreditation. Supposing that organisation had gone to the Yellow Pages and seen a featured entry with all the accredited IT installers listed in the area, would the same thing have happened? Supposing that the organisation had accessed the WMITA member directory? I wonder if WMITA   has done enough to make consumers aware of WMITA   and the accreditation. Surely as a consequence more and more worms would want to wriggle with us and reap the benefits of increased trade. I feel a radio jingle coming on – the cheesy script is forming in my head and tail as I speak.

The Worm 

[Sooty (Andy Corbett)]

Dear Wriggler,

I think you are very good - and we should have more of you.

Actually - I think there's a way forward - If I take my trusty garden e-Spade and cut you in half - you will grow into TWO Worms.    Result!

Andy

[Sharon Talbot]

Dear 'Wormee'

Like many other companies offering website developments, I too suffer from the £1k (or in fact less) website request.

Last week I met a nice young chap who's setting up a new business. He even has some funding to help him get going. Great, I thought. This won't be like all the other funding jobs I've had where they want a logo, stationery, leaflet/brochure and a website all for £1K and inclusive of VAT.

However, the conversation starts to go downhill when he tells me the funding body will only go for the cheapest quote. Huge sigh from me as I sip my hot chocolate. I'm not sure I believe this as it would be very shortsighted of them if they took this view. But hey, we know what these funding bodies can be like don't we? And he says its match funding so he's obviously thinking he'll get a low quote and therefore only have to pay a little to match it.

We then talk about what he wants and why he wants it. And in fact at this stage all he really needs is a web presence (brochure on line) consisting of a few pages and he doesn't think he'll update it frequently as most of his marketing will be directed offline. Phase 2 may consist of online ordering and I give him a ball park figure for this. We do have an interesting conversation about what the website could contain that might make people come back to his website and start talking about it (a hobbyhorse of mine). Ideas flow. (BTW, how do people copyright these ideas?)

We then talk about designs. I like the sort of look and feel he's aiming for and my creative blood starts to bubble. I show him some examples of websites we've designed. He wants to see an example of one we've done that matches what he's looking for exactly. I explain that these are examples so he can see the quality of design and levels of functionality we can buid. He then shows me a website his 'mate' has done. He really likes it. Hmmm...I start to get that sinking feeling again. The design is ok but not 'wow'. I wonder if I'm being stitched up to make up the quote numbers and he's going to get his mate to do it?

So I've emailed him my quote. He needs to get a couple more to satisfy the funders. When I follow it up, he asks if the costs are negotiable. 'NO!', I politely state. 'They're not.' I've given him a good price that reflects what he needs.

Maybe I should take Andy's advice....?